LORDS OF THE SYNTH

You can never be too young to appreciate the finer things in life. Like good food, good music, the company of friends and family, and - oh i don’t know - watching your uncle drink vodka off a stripper’s chest (who he’s probably related to). That my friends is a beautiful snapshot of modern family life. Me - i’ll just stick to the music (my parole strictly states i’m not allowed within 100ft of any strippers.)

STUART #086: September 2008

Offshore (The Phantom’s Revenge Remix) - Division Kent
Throw It Away (Designer Drugs Remix) - Messinian
Riding Low - DJ Kue
Don’t Get High (Breakdown Remix) - DJ Kue
Go Time Anthem - Say Wut
They Live! - Evil Nine
Touch (AC Slater Remix) - Trash Yourself
Trouble - The Teenagers
Green Light (MSTRKRFT Remix) - John Legend & Andre 3000
Physical Attraction - Purple Crush
The Enemy Are The Future (Sam’s Dance Edit) - Late Of The Pier
Into the Galaxy (Danger Remix) - Midnight Juggernauts
Dirty Diana (Dexplicit Remix) - Michael Jackson
Lookin’ Boy (Valerna Remix) - Hot Styles ft. Yung Joc
Love In The Club (Frenzy Mix) - Venom & Damage
Obstacle 1 (Kid Color’s She Can Readmix) - Kid Color
Lollipop (Nasty Ways Remix) - Lil Wayne
A Milli (Chewy Chocolate Cookies Remix) - Lil Wayne
Switchboard (Old Money Vocal Edit) - Kid Sister
Pills (Proper Villains Remix) - Gucci Mane
Mikey Rocks (GT’s Juke And The City Mix) - Cool Kids

 

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I’ve accepted that some people are just retarded - the Darwin Awards being just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. Between the clients i deal with in my professional work, the correspondence i receive from my bank, and some of the people i’ve met recently - it’s a wonder they even remember to breathe. If you need something to stop you putting a knife in a powerpoint - may i suggest a dose Synthapam Lordsafil 85mg. (Caution: side effects may include headiness and a yearning to operate heavy machinery.)

STUART #085: August 2008

Feels So Good - Mase
Future Ghost - WOW
Baba O’Reily (SebastiAn Remix) - The Who
Solid Gold - The Golden Filter
I’m So High (Remix) - Grindmode ft. Rick Ross
Come Around (Remix) - M.I.A. ft. Mic Terror
Dopeboy (Neon Blak GT Edit) - Adam Tensta
Dream On (Neon Blak Remix) - Christian Falk ft. Robyn
Absolute Ego Riot (Louis La Roche Remix) - The Phantoms Revenge
Love Can’t Turn Around (Boys Noize Mix) - Farley ‘Jackmaster’ Funk
Gelatine Fixation (DJ Donna Summer Tittymix) - Otto Von Shirach
American Boy (LAZRtag Remix) - Estelle
Ghostbusters (Super Villains Remix) - Roy Parker Jr.
Lover’s Break - DJ Kue
Les Mecs Kleenex - Revolte ft. Wonder
Jump (Funkanomics Planet Cross Remix) - Kriss Kross
Sexmachine - Mon And Dad
Segertaget (DaDa Life Remix) - Maskinen
Burn It All Down (Fred Falke Remix) - VHS Or BETA
Works For Me - The Twelves
Stomp Yo Shoes (Shazam Remix) - The Aston Shuffle
Knights Of Cydonia (Ocelot Remix) - Muse
Cold As Ice - Sharkslayer
Underground (Djedjotronic & Busy P Remix) - Das Pop
Jones In Bmore - DJ Will Roc
Let The Sunshine (Solly Bmore Edit) - Fifth Dimension
Peaches of Baltimore (Pfunkt Rework) - Frank Zappa

 

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Remember the urban legend that Stephanie Tanner from Full House (Jodie Sweetin) died in a rollercoaster accident?! That was only half-true.  She actually was involved in a train-wreck… her LIFE.

Poor girl married a cop, fell victim to the crystal meth and had to recover in some Baptist detox centre, before landing a gig hosting a stripper-themed reality show on US cable called “Pants-Off Dance-Off”.

Hey, at least she didn’t end up properly crazy like the Olsen Twins…

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Lords Of The Synth Podcast #84: How rude!
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Jesse Frederick - Full House Intro (TV)
Ben Mono - Jesus Was A B-Boy (Shir Khan Remix)
CSS - Cannonball (Breeders Cover)
Rob Base & Dj E-Z Rock - It Takes Two
The Cansecos - Raised By Wolves (Parallels Mix)
Keagan - Erriccc
Bloc Party - Mercury (Herve Is In Disarray Remix)
Treasure Fingers - Cross The Dancefloor (Lifelike Remix)
Gui Boratto - Beautiful Life
Tittsworth Feat. Kid Sister & Pase Rock - WTF
Hostage - Rooted
The Ting Tings - That’S Not My Name (La Riots Mix)
Buraka Som Sistema Feat. Petty - Yah! (The Count & Sinden Mix)
Crookers - Il Brutto (Mustard Pimp El Burrito Mix)
M.I.A - China Girl (Diplo Mix)
Starship - Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now

 

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“Kids, I’ve called this meeting because I’m the most caring dad ever. Now, I know how much it hurt when mom died. I mean, I still miss her and will always love her. But a man has needs, y’know? I need a M to F, know what I mean?! Yeahhh, you do!

So I want you all to try to make nice with your new mom, and her three obnoxious kids. Hell, maybe even some hijinks will ensue? Or even a teen pregnancy, who knows? One day, you’ll all understand. Except that creepy nerd kid of hers. He’ll never understand.

I declare this family meeting closed, who wants a beer?”

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Lords Of The Synth Podcast #83 mixed by TOMMYK: A Man Has Needs
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The Real Roxanne w/ Howie T - Bang Zoom
Cuca Cola - Plastic Caramelo
Santogold w/ Diplo - Guns Of Brooklyn (Doc and Jon Hill Dub)
Clipse - Fast Life (Acapella)
Bar-Kays - Shake Your Rump To The Funk
Spank Rock - Rick Rubin (President EUTL remix)
Jupiter - CHiP
Gang Gang Dance - House Jam (xxxchange mix)
W.O.W - Icy Cold
Missy Elliott - Teary Eyed (ATFC Club mix)
The Millioners - Body Into Use (Russ Chimes Edit)
When Saints Go Machine - Sell Me Your Exit
Walter Meego - Through A Keyhole (Le Castle Vania Remix)
Lovelock - Maybe Tonight
Death From Above 1979 - Romantic Rights (Marczech Makuziak remix)
PRDS - Bahamas
Alan Silvestri - Delta Force
Jesse Frederick - Step By Step Intro Theme

 

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Pushing mongo? Wrong. Tomato sauce on mongolian beef? Wrong. Expecting me not to drink on a school nite? Wrong. Giving head like that (pictured)? Wrong. Expecting a near never-ending string of pure radness from SynthLords.com? Oh so very right…

STUART #082: August 2008

Rave Is King (Discodust Edit) - FUKKK OFFF
I Want You (TEPR Remix) - Martin Solveig
Bucky Done Gun (Billion Dollar DJs Remix) - M.I.A.
You’re On Fire - Kissy Sell Out
Get Down - Meterhead
Do It (Xinobi Remix) - Roger Troutman
Samurai (Redsoul Mix) - Jazztronik
Big Dancin’ - Bounce Camp
Day Off - Xinobi
Boyfriend (Bloody Beetroots Remix) - Alphabeat
The Weekend (Stockholm Syndrome Remix) - Hard-Fi
Until I Die (Short Club Mix) - September
Let Me Ride Up (Poney Poney Version) - Don Rimini
Losing Sight - Xinobi
Exodus (Bryan Cox Remix) - Headshotboyz
1985 - Redial ft. Smacktown
Should I Stay Or Should I Go (Biancardi Mix) - The Clash
The Geeks Were Right - The Faint
Phoenix B-O-O-T-A-Y - Kid Color
Concrete Residential (Minitel Rose Remix) - Papier Tigre

 

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Riddle me this: What do smash-hit TV sitcoms “Perfect Strangers”, “Full House”, “Step By Step”, “Valerie” and “Family Matters” all have in common?

A: Jesse Frederick, theme song composer extraordinaire. This man set the bar for 80s family television intro themes. And all this month it’s JESSE FREDERICK MONTH here at the Lords Of The Synth Podcast. Keep up the good work Jesse … Oh, you’re dead? Sorry about that. Bus-crash? The AIDS? Anyway, sucks.

See you next episode, TV fans.

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Lords Of The Synth Podcast #81: Acceptable in the 80s
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Jesse Frederick - Perfect Strangers Intro (TV)
Minuit - A Room Full Of Cute (Rico Tubbs Mix)
Xinobi - Day Off (Anoraak Remix)
Flo-Rida feat. Will.I.Am - Hands In The Ayer (Spinstyles Remix)
Jazmine Sullivan feat. Missy Elliott - Need You Bad (Chew Fu Piano Fix)
Steed Lord - It’s What U Do 2 Me (DJ Barletta Remix)
A Girl & A Gun - Whomp That Sucka (A1 Bassline Mix)
Damn Arms - The Boss (Like Woah! Mix)
DVAS - Ambient Room (SymbolOne mix)
The Twelves - When You Talk
Old Money - L.E.S [Get Low]
Scotch - Penguin’s Invasion
N.E.R.D + Kanye West + Mos Def + Q-Tip - She Wants To Move (Team 20/20 rebel music mashup)
White Denim - Shake Shake Shake

 

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Possession is 90% of the law - at least if old wives tales are to be held as legal truths. And seriously - who are these old wives? Do they meet and discuss this stuff on a regular basis? “Ladies, this week we’ll discuss predicting the sex of unborn children based on Pepsi vs Coke consumption”. I’m just surprised they survived the ‘marry/impregnate/get bored/divorce/remarry younger version’ cycle so popular these days – bravo ladies. They also tell me that listening to these podcasts too much will make your palms hairy.

STUART #080: August 2008

Ain’t I (Remix) - Yung LA ft. Young Dro & T.I.
Dinner Time - The Cool Kids
Lollipop (Public’s Heavy Metal Remix) - Lil Wayne
Buzzin (Classixx Remix) - Shwayze
Mastered - A-Trak ft. Lupe Fiasco
Stomp (The Bloody Beetroots Remix) - Wu-tang Clan
To Protect and Entertain (DJ Mehdi 99Rap Mix) - Busy P
You Make Me Wanna Wiggle (Mike B Edit) - The Brothers Johnson
Smiling Off (DFA Remix) - Black Dice
Starlight - Jupiter
Come On Closer (Pineapples Cover) - Moulinex
What Does It Mean - Calling In Sick
Belmondo - Alex Gopher
Hunting High And Low (Louis La Roche Remix) - A-ha
Dystopia (Turkish Prison Remix) - Midnight Juggernauts
Waiting So Long - Sidechains
Beat Bang - Herve & Trevor Loveys
Stand & Deliver (Adam & The Ants Cover) - Royal Rumble
Embrace (Fred Falke & Miami Horror remix) - Pnau ft. Ladyhawke
Cocked Locked Ready To Rock (FUKKK OFFF Remix) - Monosurround
Starscream - Redial
Into The Groove (Sidechains Remix) - Madonna

 

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Looks like I’ve been slacking. My contract clearly states that I must:

a) Be (easily) the most manly and handsome of the Synth Lords and;
b) Produce at least half the amount of podcasts that Stu does.

And I think we both know which one of those K.P.Is I’ve been slipping on…

So I bring you: 16 Super-Solid Sexy Tracks for SHOE-SHOPPING! Available in-stores now!**

** Seriously have you seen this shit advertised on TV? I was unawares there were specialty shoe-shopping songs. I mean, I’m all for physical training and shopping montages, but shoe-shopping specifically? That’s NICHE marketing, right there.

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Lords Of The Synth Podcast #79: 16 Super-Sexy Tracks for SHOE-SHOPPING!
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CSS - Left Behind
South Rakkas Crew - Mad Again (THDP Mix)
Instamatic - Neon Sex People
One Day As A Lion - Wild International
Still D.R.E (Tenzin Remix) - Dr. Dre
Suzy Q - Get On Up And Do It Again
Division Kent - L’Heure Bleue (Kleenhouse Mix)
Mandraz & Alan Braze - Hypnotize
Pete Sparrow - Stallion
Masters At Work - Work (Chew Fu Fix)
Das Pop - Underground (Van She Tech mix)
ANORAAK - Talking In Your Sleep
Cut Copy - Far Away (Solly mix)
Sebastien Tellier - L’Amour et la Violence (Boyz Noize Mix)
Walter Meego - Girls (Spruce Lee and Kato mix)
The Long Blondes - Five Ways To End It (12″ Erol Alkan Mix)

 

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